The blessing of obedience blesses others

First of all, I made it another day or so into that Whole30 and caved, caved, caved, big time! But I am seeing it all differently right now.

I recently finished my degree in early childhood education. As I was taking classes, and we were providing therapeutic foster care to some really troubled kiddos, I began to feel a tug to do something with incarcerated and/or addicted moms. As I moved toward a path in which to provide parenting help to these women, I kept hitting brick walls. I could not get into the prison system, and I especially could not do so with a paycheck. I am all for volunteering, but I will have student loans I have to pay back starting in December--there had to be a way to move toward what I was feeling called to do but still make money at it, also.

A couple of months ago I had an experience that I recognize as hearing from God. It's not audible for me (I've known people who actually have that experience), but I "heard" His voice telling me to look at Lifeline's website. (www.lifelineyouth.org) I checked it out and found that they were hiring a family consultant, which is a home based parenting and life skills educator/counselor. Many things fell miraculously into place, including me knowing personally the person who was doing the interviewing! (Had worked with her when she was the family consultant for a foster family we had.) I interviewed, and it looked very promising. It was a matter of waiting.

Fast-forward to yesterday. You also all know, I think, that I have food sensitivities/food addictions that control me and affect my health dramatically. Just as I was (am?) an alcoholic who gave up drinking cold turkey 25+ years ago, I am acutely aware that there is a certain way for me to eat that completely restores my health and I need to just eat that way, period, no looking back. However, I have only been successful at this eating plan for a few days in a row, and then I taste something I shouldn't and I crack out, bingeing and eating all the things that steal my health and overall wellness.

Yesterday I had an a-ha moment. The Lord has been showing me all of this over time, and I have known what I need to do, but I have been disobedient. I have rebelled and eaten what I wanted, and paid the price with diminished health, stomach and bowel issues, aches and pains, cloudiness of mind, and more. Yesterday, as I was talking/praying about this issue, the Lord reminded me of Esau, who gave up his birthright for a bowl of stew.

Now, I have always thought Esau was really, really stupid to give up his birthright for food. But the Lord showed me that I was doing the same thing. And then He showed me more. Esau didn't just give up his inheritance. He gave up God's purpose for His life. In Biblical times, where you fell in the birth order dictated your place in life. I have always thought that the reason I have to eat a special diet is related to not getting cancer like my mom did. Of course I don't want cancer; neither do I want fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, ADHD, or any other ailment that troubled me before I found this way of eating. But it still was only about me. Or so I thought.

But it's not. Nothing is about just me. Everything we do teaches. Everything we do affects someone else. We all have purpose in being here. It hit me that I will not fulfill my purpose if I do not eat the way the Lord has shown me that I must eat. It's not that everyone should eat this way. It's that *I* need to eat this way. He will be able to do so much more through my hands if I am health, clear headed, able to work, able to serve. I will be here longer, and He can get more done if I am obedient to eat according to what He has shown me.

And, so I surrendered. I repented and I obeyed. I turned around. 180. All the way.

And within 30 minutes, I had a phone call saying that my job offer had come through and was I willing to take it? They offered me more $$ than I had indicated I required on my application, too!

Today I am really, really craving sweets and caffeine, but I know that I cannot have those things. I really just can't. This is not a matter of losing weight or even "just" eating healthy. This is about addiction. It is about healing. It is about wholeness. And it is about obedience.

I will choose obedience. Not because I will be blessed. I will--there is always blessing in obedience. But that's not why. I choose obedience because I love my Heavenly Father so much, and I know He has a plan for me, and I can't fulfill that plan if I do not obey His direction for my life. He is preserving me to do His good pleasure. Now that's something to crack out on!